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Elizabeth Warren complained that “all of the men who were still in this race and on the debate stage … had either Super Pacs, or they were multibillionaires … And the only people who didn’t have them were the two women. And at that point, there were some women around the country who said, ‘You know, that’s just not right.’”

Warren took some heat for that. Not only for going back on her principles (no super pacs), but also for playing the gender card (the two women).

The fact of the matter is that Patriarchy is exhausting. It’s a Cat 3 storm blowing us off-course all the time. Elizabeth keeps tacking and stays on-course, but man, it’s tiring.

My feminist husband said, “Women are facing into the wind. Men always have the wind at their backs.”

After my babies were born, I went back to school for an advanced degree, a Masters of Sciences degree (take that, Patriarchy!) in Interior Design. My first course I learned about the pre-historic goddess cultures, and my life veered off onto a different trajectory. I read Marilyn French’s Beyond Power: On Women, Men, and Morals. I wrote papers that used words like subsummation and ineffable. My shelves filled with books defining and delimiting the patriarchy. I talked so much about the exciting new world I was discovering that my feminist husband finally said, “Please, would you stop using the word ‘patriarchy’? You’re starting to upset the kids.”

That was the point.

But I stopped talking.

Which takes me back to Elizabeth’s dilemma. There is no way to get it right. “You know, that’s just not right.” And neither is this. What are we supposed to do? When the issues are framed by “all of the men who are still in this race” (irony intended), it’s difficult to set it right. Elizabeth couldn’t win an election without playing by the boys’ rules. And I couldn’t talk about patriarchy without using the word “patriarchy.”

The only way out of this labyrinth is to reframe the issue. Super pacs are not good for a democracy, therefore none of us should be using them. Patriarchy is not a good system for anyone – male or female --, therefore none of us should suffer it.

If you think it’s a challenge to dismantle super pacs, try dismantling patriarchy. But we are. The Fab Five are dismantling patriarchy. The Squad is dismantling patriarchy. The runner Caster Semenya is dismantling patriarchy. And yes, the first female president will add her sledge hammer to the demolition job.